Today was difficult

I reached a breaking point today. I don't no quite what triggered it but I had it was difficult to keep myself together just getting to my room. Thoughts of suicide and difficulty danced with daggers in my head. I tried to keep a stiff upper lip but being alone leaves a lot of room in your head, too much room. I battles to the best of my ability but it was winning out and I had to resort to sleep, which was difficult. I'm better now but the quick wave is something I need to be afraid and aware of. Only time will tell.